Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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