And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
