We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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