Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
