is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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