i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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