Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
