Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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