Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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