wat bout pragnant strippers??
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Im part way to drunk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
