real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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