i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
