i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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