weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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