there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
