Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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