Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
