I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
