Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
