You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
