so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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