I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
