even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
