Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize