There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
