I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
