so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she looked like the before picture.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
