I don't think brook has ever known best
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
