i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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