My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
