question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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