why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize