tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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