This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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