YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All the doctor said was why
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
