she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
