god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
