she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have feelings that need drinking.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
