why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize