kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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