Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
