Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
