4 words: hood of his car
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
