Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
