my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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