That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
