we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize