Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize