Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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