yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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