Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No I am not eating basil off your cock
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
