I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
