fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize