A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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