O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
