and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
