I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
