Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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