Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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