I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
