We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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