maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
