If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
