I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
