saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
