In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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