so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
