After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it penis luge time yet?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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