He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
