I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
