She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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